Beginning days of my life at Government College Ibadan +18 Episode 5

hausa

if you missed Episode 4 click here

EPISODE 5

as that master isiaka caught me, he made me kneel down in the front of the class till his period is over… he then tell me to come meet him in the staff room after braging that he knows my face… but like sexytemi and cherrybrown, this is not my real face o….
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Teacher 1: where is the phone?
Student: I didn’t bring any phone to school ma.
Another teacher the bang the cain on the student’s head, its like you need a thorough beating before you’ll say the truth, a teacher said.
I wanted to run back but some teachers already noticed my presence at the staffroom’s entrance. I entered the dreadful staff-room looking scared and confused.
Thanks to my head, master Isiaka wasn’t in the staff room but as I was about to ran out of the room a teacher, the yoruba tutor shouted.
Y. Teacher: hey iwo, kilofe?(You, what do u want?)
I was happy because it was the language I love to speak that they used in questioning me.
Me: master isiaka lo so pe kin wa ri awon, igbati won de si ni ibi, ni mo fi fe pada
(master isiaka said I should come and see him, since he isn’t around I have to go back)
Y. Teacher: ese wo lo se ti o fi ni ki owa, kawa sare da sheria fun e?
(What offence have you committed for him to have made you come here so as for us to punish you?)
Me: omo daadaa ni mi, mi n ki fa ijongbon ma
(I’m a well behaved student ma)
Y. Teacher: you can go.
Me: eshey oluko (thanks ma’am)
I ran out of the room to class, fortunately and unfortunately they started another class already. I entered the class through the back because those teachers are crazy, they can send student out like they are not collecting salary and that the teachings are for free.
Luckily for me, I made it to my seat without the teacher suspecting.
After all school activities that day, some day students moved home while some moved to the field to play football. We hostelites moved to the hostel to change into our house-wear then to the dining to eat and straight outta the dining hall to the play ground.I was in the middle of play when a thought swiftly ran into my brain, dammy’s thought. I then started searching everywhere for my friend but when I saw him, he was in the middle of trouble.
He knelt down in front of some seniors looking fearfully with the belt they held in their hands, I was like ‘wetin my friend do wey dey make em seniors wan kill am?’
I then summoned the courageous beast in me to set off in meeting with the agile seniors with devilish smiles on their faces.
Me: excuse me sir
Senior1: wetin dey hausa?
******
I hate it when people call me hausa, I overheard it from some people that I look like hausas and dress like them.
******
Me: fawaz na my name, no be hausa.
Senior1: abi were leleyi ni, oya Hausa come here.
Me: (moved towards them so as to avoid trouble) fawaz be my name o senior, I no like that hausa thing o.
Senior2: it seems them don dey blend you, them don dey gather courage for your chest. Oya, kneel down beside this fool.
Me: me I no do anything na. Why I go kneel down?
Senior3: you dey craze (he then stretched his hand forward in an attemt to slap me which I guarded)
Me: senior! ah! ah! ah! ewa! ah!
Senior1: were leleyi o. Shey pesin com call you make you com chop beatings for here? Na who call you?
Me: abeg na, sheybi na master wey say make I come call this guy (pointing to my friend)
Senior2: u dey craze, which master?
Me: mr bolarinwa
Senior1: ehn ehn! Hey u fool, dey go and make sure u come back and finish your punishment wen you finish for his side.
I already know that no senior can beat my lies when master bolarinwa is inclusive.
I then ran with my friend toward the school I which leads to Mr. Bolarinwa’s place where we later ran inside a class inside the school one when I told my friend it was a lie that I use that to save him.
As we sat down in the class we ran into, we saw a snake.
Guess what???

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don’t guess again, let me tell you how it goes…
if ritababe or cherrybrown saw it, them go pick race…
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Friend: see snake
Me: yeh!
We wanted to run out of the class till we saw it was a lylon they used in wrapping a ruler.
So,
Friend: (hissing for the snake part) thanks for saving me from those ‘senseless and wahala seniors sha.
Me: gbagbe iyen, you too thank you.
Friend: why thanking me?
Me: about those girls yesternight na.
Friend: ooohw, okay! Don’t menshun!
Me: hope we dey go tonight?
Friend: No o, don’t you know dem go catch us ni. Or u donno that Mr Adesomi is doing something no one knew about to catch those that goes out of the school.
Me: yes o, I heard that from sodiq too.
Friend: you now see we can’t go anywhere.
Me: I don dey miss dammy o.
Friend: see were, don’t worry sha we go go during the break on monday.
Me: ah! How are we to do that?
Friend: no worie, no fear, I no what to do.
Me: okay boss.
Friend: anything to talk on?
Me: yes, what you said you gon tell me when we reach hostel yesterday.
Friend: about wetin be that?
Me: only God knows how you dey pass exams, about those two girls you called ‘Les something’
Friend: okay, lesbians.Me: yes yes yes. Oya, jamisi!
Friend: its something simple na. You know that guys and girls, be it higher or lower animals can have S#xual intercourse with each other if they are of opposite s*x!
Me: yes
Friend: men are made to knack female but recently things don change.
Me: hey hey!
Friend: girls now have s*x with girls and guys too have s*x with guys.
Me: (shouted) liar, how’s that possible?
Friend: okay, forget then. Let’s change the topic since you said I’m a liar.
Me: I don’t believe jor, oya let’s have s*x together now.
Friend: I’m not a gay.
Me: what’s a gay again?
Friend: don’t worry since you aren’t ready to learn.
Me: oya na, no vex, continue.
Friend: if you talk Sh*t now, I go baff you with sand and spit.
Me: oya! Boss of life. Continue na.
Friend: ehn ehn, as I was saying before a catastrophilic faker attacked my sayings.
Me: hmm hmmm!!! Itumo?
Friend: you know I be wole soyinka’s brother?
Me: ewo were! Oya, talk jor.Me: ewo were! Oya, talk jor.
Friend: nowadays, people have gone insane. Some turned gay, some lesbians, some are into bisexual acts, some are into tri-S#xual. Some now do threesome or foursome all because they ain’t satisfied and some finger themselves.
Me: eh eh, talk in details na, break am into pieces.
Friend: gay is the growing of likeness or feelings between guys which later turned into having s*x with each other, I mean man to man. They F**K through anus. As in ‘won a ma ki oko bo ara won ni idi.’ (They’ll insert Joystick into each other anus)
Me: okay!
Friend: lesbianism is the S#xual act between girls, an example is the type you saw yesterday where two girls were doing that thing you told me you saw.
Me: hmm hmmm
Friend: some girls believe only in lesbianism why some are into bisexual act as in they’ll do girls and guys together.
Me: olorun mi o(oh my God)
Friend: some girls can handle three guys at a time that they’ll be F***ed by the three guys at the same time, that one is called threesome.
Me: choi!Friend: and some girls finger themselves by digging their hand inside their virgina like a Joystick dose in them if they aren’t satisfied.
Me: that one is called handsome bha?
Friend: thunder fire you! Handsome for where?
Guess what????

To Be Continued…

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