Diary Of a Fraudster- Episode 17


If You Missed Episode 16 click HERE



With everything happening I don’t know if I”m making it or if am
loosing it, I feel am on the right path or have been on the right path
rather. Since everything has been smooth in my life lately, and all of
a sudden this glitch is just happening.
Krissh came to ib. The next day as planned and agreed to help purchase
the sound systems comprising of four speakers and one amplifier, I
couldn’t go to purchase the stuff myself because I wasn’t chanced at
At work I did all I supposed to do diligently and kept to my self as
much as possible, I was low key, thou we don’t have much to be
occupied with most times, I’d just be coding, have made half way
success with the mobile App by then but am still having issues with
payment aspect.
Friday came by and everything was in order. I planned not to go to
work so I called in sick.
Krissh and I loaded all the sound stuff in a pick up truck we rented
and we drove to the primate’s church.
Thou I was a little nervous, we got there around 1pm, they were having
some sort of open field service, so they were not making use of the
church auditorium, the place was overcrowded sef. I told krissh to
stay in the truck which we parked outside and I went in, took off my
footwear and joined them in the service.
I tried surveying with my eyes if I could locate faith among the crowd
but I couldn’t. At the end of the service, the primate was holding
meetings with some people and the meeting were taking like forever. So
I just sat at a corner and focused of my phone.
Boo!!! (Was shocked looked sideways and it was faith standing beside me.
Me : oh good afternoon faith.
Faith: hmmn afternoon, oga, you couldn’t holla me you were coming.
Me : don’t mind me jawe, it skipped my mind.
Faith : so you have decided to come and show gratitude after all this years.
Me : that’s life for you jae, can you just help inform your mum of my
presence, because I don’t think she would leave that meeting anytime
Faith : okay I’d be right back.
She walked away and approached where her mum was, she was talking with
her, her words weren’t audible to me though, then I noticed she
pointed at me, and the primate also looked in my direction with a look
of surprise on her face.
She stood up briskly and they approached me.
Primate : ifeoluwa!
Me : good afternoon ma.
Primate : is this really you.
Me : yes ma.
Faith : we both attend the same school mum
Primate : oh really?
Me : yes ma.
Primate : hmmmn let’s go to my office.
Faith turned and went on her way, while iya primate led me to her office.
In her office.
Primate : iphekitan
Me : ma!
Primate : iphekitan!!
Me : yes ma!
Primate : iphekitan!!!
Me : ma!
Primate : how many times have I called you ?
Me : thrice ma.
Primate : why are you here ?
Me : firstly ma, am very sorry I’d show up all this while, and am very
sorry ma, I came to show some gratitude, I brought some speakers and
sound stuffs for the church.
Primate : oh thank you , and is that all .
mehn I told her about my Joystick losing erectness all of a sudden, and
about how bosun directed me to come back to her , and the two years
remainder warnings.
Primate : hmmm have you heard of the story pharaoh’s dream.
Me : yeah about joseph interpreting pharaoh’s dream in the bible
(still had the knowledge ,junior secondary school CRS classes)
Primate : exactly can you summarize the dream to me ?
Me : well pharaoh’s dreamt two dreams I can only remember the first
one which was that he was standing by a river and seven fat cows came
out of the river and later another seven thin cows came out of the
river and while the cows were grazing by the river bank , the seven
thin cows came and ate up the seven fat cows.
Primate : well you tried, let me explain it to you like joseph
explained, he said ” there would come seven years of great plenty
throughout egypt, but after then, there would arise seven years of
famine and all the plenty will be forgotten”. This dream applies to
Me : how ma ?
Primate : I really pity your circumstance, I should have informed you
earlier had it been you came back, but you didn’t , the thing is, you
have seven years of great wealth here in Nigeria and another seven
years of great poverty here in Nigeria. Then another seven years of
wealth again, then poverty, that’s the sequence 777.
Me : (shocked by the revelation, omo na two years remain oh) ma so
what’s the solution.
Primate : well it’s simple, immediately the first seven years is
completed you are to leave nigeria for another country, there the
seven years of poverty won’t affect you outside nigeria, when the
seven years of povery has elasped you can come back to nigeria. I.e
the 777 is only applicable to you in nigeria.
Mehn I was dazed 777 is the number.
Me : okay ma, I’d think that through, but what about my Attention ma ?
Primate : just take a bath with a local sponge at 12 midnight to be
precise and throw the sponge away, your manhood would rise again.
Me : just that ?
Primate : yeah just that .
Me : okay thanks ma. So please can you come along so we can drop the
stuff we brough for the church.
Primate : okay.
I called krissh and he drove in the truck, we off loaded the stuff and
then left. In the truck I explained how the thing went to krissh and
he was just smiling, jeez unserious element of a friend.
Me : why are you smiling now ?
Krissh : because you have a solution already !

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When I got home I did as primate instructed, took a cool bath with a
local sponge, then slept off. The next day, I woke up with An extreme
hard on, as in I was rock hard, it was a saturday so I decided to
prove to sandra what I really made of, I called her line and we agreed
to meet where we met the last time by nightfall, I knew the girl was
still interested in me.
I spent the rest of the day at krissh room where he lodged in a hotel,
he gave me recent formats and I did some dating, signed onto yahoo,
opened more tabs, busted sites after sites, then logged into facebook,
I saw my legit maga Mrs Alexandra Rose was active online, she had
dropped me series of messages already. Seriously I really don’t know
why the lady was into me, let me tell you a little about Mrs Rose,
she’s a divorced single mother living in new jersey, with her
pictures, she’s okay , I guess she still work out because she’s in
shape, I met her on a random site two years ago and since then, we
became paddy, I never really duped her per se, just that she’s always
requesting for me to visit her, though I lied to her I reside in
Washington D.C, so most times I’d told her am broke so I couldn’t get
to her area, she would send transport expenses and some extra doe for
me to maintain, but I’d end up giving her one reasonable excuse or the
So on this day also, while we were chatting she requested I visit her
again, and I declined as usual giving her silly excuses. Never knew
krissh was snooping up on me, I just heard hmmm and I turned back to
see him,
Krissh : of all sites it’s facebook you dey work on now abi.
Me : woss anyhow, on the kentro level, at all at all na him bad pass.
Krissh : well na you sabi, pray you don’t get busted soonest.
Me : she’s d–n into me jae, An sure I won’t get busted with her, she’s
even requesting I come oveR And join her in U.S but I would make money
from her via that.
Krissh : chai, you are sillY hen, isn’t this a way out for you.
Me : what! I don’t get.
Krissh : since you are to leave the country after two years. Couldn’t
she be your way out ?
Me : hmmmn confirm talk, guess I’d have to get more intimidate with her.
Krissh : that’s my point.
Me : as it Is now my life seems set. Since this year is the fifth, my
500level would be the sixth year and nysc year would be the seventh,
then I’d port to wherever.
Krissh : yeah now you see no cause for alarm.
Me : yeah the timing is perfect, gat to go, I have a re-match this evening.
Krissh : bad guy, sha take things easy
Me : alright.
I left krissh lodge and gave sandra a call, we agreed to meet at blue
bird as planned. Hummn the match was powerful, I gave it o her badly
because it’s been a while have had s-x, she was just switching from
cloud nine to ten.
After the match, we both laying on the bed, she was resting her head
on my chest and playing with the hairs on my chest.
Sandra : never new you are this awesome
Me : (smiles) it’s never written on the face.
Sandra : you are the man.
Me : thanks for the compliment
Sandra : how about we take our relationship to another level (looking
directly into my eyes)
Me : (didn’t see that coming ). You said ?
Sandra ; as in let’s take our friendship to another stage.
Me : hmmmn am not sure am ready for that yet.
Sandra : (frowns)why ?
Me : (blank face) am really nit ready for any commitments .
Sandra :(she went haywire) f*uk you, so you just meant to use me and that all.
Me : (see misinterpretation oh, I didn’t use her, she came after me
and we both have fun, now it’s “you used me” girls sha) you are
turning thing around .
Sandra : (stood up) it’s okay, don’t worry, I get it, my bad, I was
intimately into you and to you am just a regular object. It’s obvious.
Me : okay if you say so ( my mistake)
Sandra : what ? Just okay, omg! You are really a b—–d!
(Throwing tantrum, I just held her hands and threw her aside)
Me :: hey calm down girl, it was consensual, it’s wasn’t against your wish.
She stood up and approached the door.
Sandra : f*uk you (she slammed the door and went out)
Geez, girls and their funny ideas, I didn’t ask you out, you have a
crush on me, and we had s-x, and you feel you can tie me door with
that, ish that’s not gonna happen.
Now that my life seems okay, I have to plan well how to spend my
remaining years in naija. I have to get in back fully into yy and sort
things out with this mobile app, and lastly I have to attend church
service wella, because maga must pay, need to get enough money to
survive outside nigeria.

Two months later.
Krissh had gone back to Akure
Almost two months to the ending of my I.T, the mobile app is ready but
I am yet to reveal it to the management. Things went on normal in the
previous months, nothing dramatic, sandra choose to ignore me, not my
problem, faith had resumed back to school. So I was just busy with
work and yy and on friday evenings I’d go out to flex.

It was one of this friday night I met this guy called sam. I was in
the bar having my drink codedly, I don’t relate with people much,
guess am an introvert.

The sam of a guy sat on a chair opposite mine, and he kept staring at
me, when I started finding his stare absurd, I drink the last cup of
the trophy I was drinking and headed out of the bar.

Few meters from the bar, I noticed someone was following me, I looked
back and lo and behold it was the same guy from the bar approaching.
I stood gidigba, ready for anything.

Sam : hello I’m samson by name.

Me : hello how may I help you.

Sam : I’m a friend of yours from facebook, and I do feel those frosh
pictures of yours, you should recollect now, the samson who told you
to teach him yy on facebook back then from krissh.

Me : ( I remembered vividly, no wonder his face waS familiar) yeah I Remember

Sam : nice meeting  physically boss.

Me : it’s a pleasure

Sam : about that stuff, are you still into it

Me : (trying to be cautious) Nah

Sam : why ? If I may ask

Me : wasn’t just making much from it, so I discarded it

Sam : well am into it big time, let’s go back  in and talk while we drink.

we went back to the bar and he told me a lot about himself, from our
conversation, I could deduce that his into goods. but his dressing was
to casual for a yy nigga who is getting it.


I insist I wasn’t into yy all through the conversation, told him I was
just a student.

From then on we became friends and we balled and rock together.


On a certain friday, as fate would have it, I was in my office ,
preparing to leave for home around 3pm, when sam’s call came through.

Sam : hello ife

Me : wassup ?

Sam : am outside your office right now

Me : okay am already packing my things to leave for home.

Sam : alright waiting, I need you for a deal.

Me : alright.

Hung up.

I picked my bag and joined him in is SUV parked opposite my office.

Sam : ife how far, I need you to help me pick up some stuffs at the
post office .

Me : why me ?

Sam : you are dressing corporate, so no one would suspect you.

Me : are you sure, because I don’t want issues with eke

Sam : yeah , fear not.

He gave me the details of the goods am to pick up and the necessary documents.
He drove me to the front of the post office , and waited in the car ,
while I went in.

Approaching the entrance of the post office , I saw a man in his late
forties making a phone call. I ignored and went in.

I met a woman by the desk and she brought the package out, and
unsealed in front of me, it was a gold wristwatch ,a laptop and a ps2.
She was like I have to pay some certain amount of money to pick it. I
was disappointed because sam never told me this, so I informed her I
would be back. I then left the office for outside, opening the gate to
step out, I met four uniform me waiting for me.

I was agitating, it’s unexpected, didn’t sam said no cause for alarm.

I looked towards where he parked initially, he wasn’t there anymore. I
didn’t no what to do next, various things were going through my mind.

The uniform men with the inscription SAS on their uniform approached
me when they saw me.

Officer 1 : mister you have to come with us.

I didn’t even argue, from escapades have heard from people, the best
thing is to keep quiet and follow them. To avoid been mishandled, they
pushed me into a micra cab they parked. And drove off.

To Be Continued…


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