Diary Of a Fraudster- Episode 21


If You Missed Episode 20 click HERE



Lying sideways on the bed, with nothing but a red G- string on, was
John Smith smiling seductively at me. I was irritated to say the
least. Ordinarily, I would have stormed out of the room but for the
ridiculousness of the
situation, I stayed as I wanted to find out what this retard had planned.

ME: C’mon,  what’s the meaning of this?

John Smith : what do you think it is?

ME: errm… You acting really weird?

John Smith : There’s nothing weird about it. Don’t u like it?

ME: Like what?

John Smith : or don’t I look s*xy**?

He said this rubbing his hands all over his thighs. At this point it
became less annoying & just plain silly. So I sat down on 1 of the
chairs in the room & decided to play along.

John Smith: Don’t just sit there, come join me on the bed

ME: Are you serious?

John Smith :  of course I am. How do you think the game works?

ME: You mean I have to get in bed with you to get a contract?

John Smith : Yes my dear. That’s what everybody does.

ME: So you’ve slept with all your models?

John Smith: No, just the male ones. Didn’t your friend Olisa update
you before coming here?

That last bit of information was a little disturbing. The thought of
Olisa in bed with John Smith, a fairly macho dude himself turned my
stomach. My mind immediately
drifted back to all the times Olisa would touch me at the gym whilst
commenting on my biceps or my abs or any other muscle in my body.
Never for once did I suspect he was gay. Well as a sharp guy, knowing
my modeling
career was over even before it started, I took out my phone & quickly
took pictures of John Smith.

He pounced on me but I was out of the door before he could get a hold
of me. He ran out after me but soon realized he had nothing on so
turned back to his room. He called the
reception to stop me but I was out of there before they realized what
was happening. I boarded a cab & dialed his number on my way home.


It was a thursday. I had to drive back to Gombe for my clearance for the week.

I was getting bored in the car, so I called John Smith.

ME : Hey John Smith

John Smith : What do you want?

ME : I’m still trying to figure out what I want

John Smith: Ok, I’ll offer you a contract

ME: Do you think I still wanna be a model after what just happened?

John Smith : Then get on with it, name your price.

ME: How much are you willing to pay to avoid these pictures getting to
the press? Does your wife know about your love for the D? Is your son

John Smith : Please you can’t do that to me. My life will be ruined.
I’ll give you whatever you want, please just don’t expose those

ME: I’ll send my account number to you & I expect to have 1, 000,000
Naira paid in before 4pm today

John Smith : What?! A million Naira? Are you crazy?

ME: yeah, Crazy enough to send these pictures to the press.

John Smith: ok, ok, I’ll head to the bank right away just send your
bank details but u have to promise me you’ll delete those pictures
right away.

ME: You have my word

Hung up.

Looking back, I think I should have asked for more money. Well, I
wasn’t the type that deprived pleasure  in black mailing blacks like
me, I barely acted on my instincts. Besides, a million Naira wouldn’t
hurt him much, though his money won’t make much difference to the
amount I have, but just had to teach him a lesson. I got to Gombe
expecting to be a million naira richer. The following day which was
friday, It was past 2pm already still no credit alert from my bank. I
waited patiently, looking at my phone every now and again expecting
‘that’ text message to arrive.

You know that feeling you get when expecting a bank deposit and your
phone rings alerting you to a text message? Then the feeling you get
after opening the message only to find a text from a random four digit
number telling you to subscribe for Caller tunes, or some other
unnecessary information.

Well at exactly 3:55pm my phone rang. It was indeed a text message! I
heaved a huge sigh of relief & opened the message. Lo & behold! it was
a text message from JOHN SMITH…

The text read…

“If you think you can blackmail me with a silly picture, think again.
If u dare expose that pic, I promise to make your life a living hell.
I talked to my lawyers & they have assured me that we can make a case
& sue. So I’ll see you in court if you decide to act foolish”

Wow! I wasn’t expecting things to take this turn. It’s likely to get
ugly. What’s up with rich folks threatening the poor with lawyers
these days? Whenever Sh*t hits the fan, they call their lawyers. Now
John Smith was threatening with one like I couldn’t afford to get a
lawyer myself.

Mumu guy, likes he thinks money is my problem.

‘Pro bono’, so… I thought about putting an end to this deal & just get
on with my life but then I pictured what that life would be like. I
know life can be easy, and I know opportunity come but once, blah blah
blah , just have to make money out of this GAY guy!


I saw modeling as a ticket to the good life, a way out of idleness, a
way to catch fun, look good. Now I can’t have that because of a bloody
faggot! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not homophobic, even though I don’t
like them very much, I believe everyone’s got their life to live &
it’s one’s right to live as he pleases, just don’t involve me in your
lifestyle. I’m
totally against the unfair treatment currently meted out to the gay
population in our society. I thought the bill passed by the
Legislative was against Gay marriages and not copulation? I believe
its nobody’s business where a man chooses to put his Joystick. So why
harass these people for what they do privately, in their bedrooms? If
we decide to play the moral or religious card by saying God frowns at
their acts then, shouldn’t there be a ban on
premarital s*x entirely, be it same s*x or with the opposite s*x? God
frowns at S#xual immorality, period! We’re just being hypocrites if
you ask me. My bane with John Smith isn’t because he’s gay but that he
to take advantage of me & I don’t forgive easily. I needed to teach
him a lesson, if not for myself, then for the sake of other aspiring
models out there.

He messed with the wrong cat this time. So I took out my laptop and
edited the picture using photo shop, making his face blurry so he
couldn’t be identified. I posted the picture
on twitter with the caption:

‘Supermodel! I think @John_Smith should sign this dude to his agency…lol”

Within 3 hours, the picture was trending on twitter. It had gotten
loads of retweets & hilarious comments.

Twitter was buzzing! Some tweeps even suggested I exposed the dude.
Then I received a mention that surprised me much. John Smith replied
my tweet with the words

‘LMAO… Are you serious?’.

I replied immediately saying

‘You bet I am! I’ll even post the real pic so you can see how cute he is’.

My phone rang instantly, It was John Smith calling

ME: Hello

John Smith : What the F**K is wrong with you?

ME: yo John! I was expecting a thank you. I just made you famous on
twitter! At least by tomorrow after I expose the real picture, you’ll
be a star.

John Smith : You must be crazy young man!

ME: imagine the publicity you’ll get! You’ll probably feature on every
entertainment blog

John Smith : Well if you choose to carry on with this insanity, you’ll
hear from my lawyers tomorrow

ME: Oh please! The lawyer threats again? I bet your wife would be very
supportive and the companies you do business with would be more than…

WTF?! He hung up on me! Now he’s left me no choice. I know this isn’t
the most honorable thing to do but then show me 1 wealthy person who
got to that position in
life by being honourable. When life throws you lemons, you make
lemonade right? Well I enjoy mine with a little vodka in it. I saw
this as an opportunity & what is it they say about opportunity? It
cometh but once. I wasn’t going to let this one chance pass me by.
John Smith must have read my mind because at that instant my phone
rang. It was a text message.

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‘Alright you win. I’ll pay the money 1st thing tomorrow. Please delete
that picture. PLEASE’

After reading that text, I was ecstatic! It felt like my favourite
team just won the champions league. No, scratch that. It felt like
Rita Dominic just agreed to marry me! I’ve always had a crush on that
one hey… story for another day. I could barely sleep that night.
You know when you’re anticipating something great the next day, you
tend to wake up early and it appears as if time is ‘taking its time’.
I slept at about 1am. I woke up thinking it was dawn already. I
checked the time, it was
4am! I couldn’t fall back asleep. I stayed awake chatting and hustling
online with my maye’s.

After about what seemed like 3 hours, I checked the time again, it was 4:30am!
I decided to stop waiting & keep my mind busy. I decided to listen to
a music that would ginger my spirit, because I like my music
extremely loud. So I plugged in my headphone. I figured I was in the
mood to listen to Fela. I went to the fridge & got out a small bottle
of Alomo bitters. Why do people bother with this drink really? The
taste is
horrible! It doesn’t smell good but we love it, don’t we? I think the
idea of a ‘healthy high’ was what got me started & the small size of
the bottle meant you drank in moderation. Plus given the price, it is
a no-brainer!


So I sat up in bed sipping my Alomo, listening to Fela, waiting for
dawn. I visited my favourite sport sites. I did virtually everything
to past time. I even visited Dopepopz, I read some cool stories
Teenage Love, Shade of Lust, later I got bored and sleepy read the
stories, I then switch to check out some gist via linda ikeji’s blog,
the trending posts weren’t captivating to me, I find most of these
‘gossips’ to be super annoying. With stories like ‘See Don Jazzy’s
tweet to Tiwa Savage’; ‘Wizkid takes selfie in a toilet”; ‘Davido
bought a new shoe’; ‘See the food Tonto Dike
ate last night’. How does any of that amount to gossip?

Why would I care about the food Tonto Dike had for dinner? Most of
these amateur bloggers should find something else to do with their
time. They all recycle the same stories. They copy a story, word for
word, from
Linda Ikeji’s blog & post on theirs not bothering to edit or name
their source. Little wonder as to why she’s making so much money &
they aren’t. Professionalism

My conscience was slowly catching up with me. There’s no honour in
blackmail a naija guy like me, we all know it’s hard to make money in
this country, if you ain’t a politician.  I was beginning to have
second thoughts, then this particular song came on, GENTLEMAN. In the
words of the great Abami Eda I realised “I no be gentleman at all”. I
know Fela wasn’t encouraging anybody to do wrong with that
song but then its like a parable. Whichever translation works for you.
Its funny the lengths we’ll go to justify a wrong deed. I quickly
brushed that thought aside. I aint giving up now, not when I’m this
close to getting paid.
At last, the first light of dawn. I got out of bed, to my cloths to
the dry cleaner, then, came back home, took a chilled Fuman Juice in
the refrigerator, sat on my bed with my pc, and I hustle on, while
sipping the Juice  in a cup.

At about 9am, I received a text
from John Smith.

‘I’m on my way to the bank. Please confirm your details again’

I duly obliged. Now I was waiting for that all important text, the
credit alert. It took a little over 20 minutes for the sacred alert to
come in. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the figures 1,000,000.
Maga don pay.

Then I received another text. This time it was
from John Smith.

‘I’ve paid the money into your account. I trust you’ll do the right
thing by deleting the picture & my phone number as well. Don’t contact
me again & If by any means, the picture is exposed & I lose everything
I’ve worked for, I’ll find you & I’ll kill you’

That sunk in. I believed every word of that text. I quickly deleted
the picture. There’s no point keeping it & I wouldn’t want anyone
having access to it because I didn’t want to find out if he was
bluffing or not. I want
to believe ‘hell hath no fury like a gay nigga scorned’.

I received another text. From John Smith yet again.

‘You know Karma is a B***h right???’

To Be Continued…


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