Diary Of a Fraudster- Episode 8


If You Missed Episode 7 click HERE



In the evening, we went to the church together. I being fully prepared to spend 7days there, have packed my bag and everything.
When we got there, they were having a revival. People were just dancing, you understand those white garments church dance now, #raiseyourassesintheair, the primate excused herself from the program and took us to her office.
We sat down to discuss.

Primate : Welcome, gentleman what’s that name of yours again [refering to me]

Me : ifeoluwakitan ma .

Primate : hmmmmn love of God is endless, nice name.

Me : but you can call me iphekitan in short. [endless love]

Primate : OK, bosun how are you?, It’s been a while have seen you.

B.B : I’m fine ma, have just been busy lately

Primate : hmmmmn don’t be to busy for God oh.

[turns to me]

Have you now made your decision?

Me : yes ma , infact ma , am prepared already.

Primate : hmmm what took you so long, well you came at the best moment, a 21 days fasting and prayer is on in the church, so you can be joining our evening revival program.

Me : not a problem ma.

B.B : alright ma, I guess I can take my leave?

Primate : Yeah you are free, I would take over from here.

Bosun left, the primate told me to join the revival and that we would talk later, I did as she instructed.
Hmmm looked around and i was feeling queasy already, I don’t fancy the environment at all, I wondered if I was going to last seven days here.
What just kept me going was “i’d rather die before I go broke”.

I joined them at the revival, the praise and worship session ended, they switched to exaltation, which the primate anchored, thou I didn’t have a bible i was following them in my mind, later they switched to prayer sessions, people were just going into spirit, I prayed a little thou, but later i was watching everyone. The prayer session took much time, it ended after 50mins of hot prayer session, then they swiched to offering.

Lo and behold, a light bae came forward to collect the mic and guess whose it was! , share!!, the same girl that almost ruined my life. Mehn i was speechless, this olosho of a girl now want to start forming holy here, she started singing and i was still staring at her from were I sat.

I came back to my senses when the usher brought the offering basket to my front, the usher was a lady, I dropped 1k in the basket and she gave me a full look, I gave her a look too, and she said thanks, and moved on with her duty, I was still comtemplating about how to go about this shade of a girl when tge service ended.

I retreated back to a corner by the wall, were there was a socket plugged in my phone and started chatting.

After a while, why i was still busy pressing my phone, I noticed the shadow of a figure standing before me. I looked up and lo and behold, It was that same usher that was smiling at me the other time.  She introduced herself as faith.

Me : Am iphekitan by name

Faith : Nice name, the primate said o should led you to your room.

Me : room?  Woaw thank God i won’t be sleeping here after all.

Faith : [smiles] Nope, we have a guest house behind this auditorium.

She led the way and i followed closely behind, I didn’t knw when my eyes went astray, I started noticing her qualities, thou she was in her white garment. She’s light in complexion, it seems she’s blessed with hips, and a small waist.  I later snapped out of my thought. We got to a building labelled “Prayer House”, she led me in and took me to a room, she handed over the keys of the room to me.

Faith : brother Ife feel at home.

Geez this christ like fellows and their brother and Sister attachment to name sha. Well i followed the trend.

Me : Thanks Sister faith.

She smiled

Faith : If there is anything you need you can call on me, i would be right outside.  The primate would call for you by 7pm,so be prepared.

Me : Okay Sister faith, thank you.

She took her leave, the room was cool, it had a standing Fan, a bed and two chairs. Told believed it more comfortable than sleeping in the church auditorium. I unpacked my bags, plugged in my gadgets and lied on the bed to watch film on my Pc.

Heard a knock on the door.

Me : who is there please?

Faith : it’s I, faith.

Me : oh sister faith, am coming please [opened the door and stood there to talk to her]  I guess the primate has called for me.

Faith : nope, shes still busy, I just came around on my own free will, to ask what you would like to take for dinner so I can purchase it for you.


Me : No worries Sister faith , this place is getting stuffy to me already, lets go together.

Faith : lol u better get used to this. Would be waiting for you outside

I ignore at remark, put on my palm and joined her outside, we went out of the compound.
Saw a mallam selling Suya. Approached him

Me : Aboki, how much ate you Suya?

Aboki : 100, 200, 300, 400, fried chicken 400 etc. Any how you want it

Me : Sister faith how much would satisfy you.

Faith : [smiles] any amount you purchase.

Me : better talk now because I love suya alot besides, this is what am eating tonight oh.

Faith : hmmmmn that’s gross, eating just meat for dinner, well 200 naira own will do.

Me : Aboki slash me 500 naira own and 200 naira own separately.

The aboki dished it out and packed it up. I collected both, decided to search for where to purchase yoghurt, saw a shop and we bought two bovic yoghurt. She took the whole package from me to carry. We then returned to church. We met the primate waiting outside already.

Primate : where are you both coming from [strong face]

Faith handed the whole package to me.

Me : she took me to where to buy food ma.

Primate : What! You left the church premises?  [turns to faith]  go inside now.

Faith : [she ran along and murmured]  am sorry mum.

That how got to know faith was even the primate’s daughter, chai this is my first day here and already tresspassing.

Primate : please don’t leave the church premises again for your own good.

Me : I concour .

Primate : you said?

Me : OK ma.

Primate : alright go and finish up and join me in my office

Me : OK ma.

I went to my room, now I had to battle 500 naira Suya plus the 200 naira own I bought for faith, I finished it all up and drank the two bovic yoghurt,rested a little then went to the primate’s office.

Primate : Welcome have you sit

Me : Thanks ma

Primate : so do you like you room.

Me : yes ma thanks.

Primate : Alright.

She briefed me about how everything we would do would go,  she told me about the things to be bought and the payment, and the time I would be turning up for Prayers.

Primate : remember don’t leave the church premises.

Me : I grab ma.

Primate : When it’s 12 a.m I would come to knock on your door, so be prepared for the first session of Prayers.

Me : OK ma

Primate : you can leave now.

Me : OK ma good nite  .

Primate : alryt good nite


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