Diary Of a Fraudster- Episode 9


If You Missed Episode 8 click HERE




12 a.m Day 1

I was awake  around 5mins past 12, thanks to my alarm. I was still putting on my shirt when I hear a knock at the door. I opened up, i knew it was the primate.

Me : Good morning ma

Primate : Morning, weren’t you sleeping before at all.

Me : not really ma .

Primate : OK time for prayers.

Issh like I didn’t know before, she led me into the church, and for like 30 minutes she was sharing the word from THE WORD, but my mind wasn’t really with her because am not used to being awake by such a time. I came back to conciousness when I heard, lets pray, sharply I bowed my head.

Primate : not here mister,  come along.

I followed her, she took me to the back of the compound , I noticed we were approaching a river, In my mind I was like, this white garment churches and their attachment to rivers sha. We got there.

Primate : take off your shirt.

I rolled up my trousers, took off my shirt, I am very muscular ,because I don’t joke with morning exercises, I noticed the primate’s eyes widened when she saw my packs. I ignored and went to join her in the middle of the water.

She brought out two candles, and lighted them , she told me to hold them with my hands wide apart by my sides.

She then brought out a local sponge and a black soap in a white dish.

Me : ma , can I do the washing myself.

Primate : your turn would come, but at this point, it’s necessary I do, just keep saying amen.

I bent down and she poured water on my head and started the washing with the sponge and black soap, she was praying along the line, and I kept saying amen.

After 10minutes of back to back washing. She handed me the soap and sponge, and took the still burning two candles from me.

Primate : you can have a complete bath now. When you are done , burn the sponge with this two candles that I would leave by the river bank and meet me inside the church with the ashes.

(She left)

I had a quick bath, did what I was told to do, and later joined her in the church, and gave the ashes to her.

Primates : ok you can go back to sleep now, that would be all for now.



In the morning I woke up around nine , I guess my body automatically adjusted it self to make up for the hours I was denied of sleep.

I woke up feeling energetic, I did 25 push ups in my room , drank a pure, then retreated to my bed.
I was flipping through my pictures on my pc, when I heard a knock at the door.

Me : come in please.

Faith : brother ife, you want to sleep for the whole day, oga o, this would be the sixth time I would knock your door, thank God you are awake at last.

In my mind I was like, sho what’s wrong with this bae, awake or not what’s her own. i was yet to reply her, and she kept staring at me like person they just serve jollof rice for party.

Faith : won’t you tell me to come in ?

Me : oh come in ( I paved way for her entry)

Faith : Good morning.

Me : morning.

She helped herself to sit on my bed.

Faith : I guess you just wake sef , your eyes are still swollen.

Me : not really, have been awake minutes before now, I was just flexing with my laptop.

Faith : hmmmn ok can I touch your laptop.

Me : you are free.

I noticed she was still staring at me, when I expected her to be facing the screen of the laptop.

Her stared made me realise I was putting on just boxers, mehn it was due to the heat o, I stylish put on a chase dear and my carrot jean. She must have been admiring me body all this while, I hope this bae won’t get me into an issh.
I sat on the chair.

Faith : come and join me on the bed now, this your pictures are hilarious, you must be a play boy o, with different kind of girls am seeing here.

I ignored that remark. I wonder what kind off lady would be trespassing a guys room by this time of the day.

Me : sister faith where is the bathroom located please.

Faith : I would take you there when you are ready to take your bath.

Me : am ready now.

I took along my towel and she led the way. We got to the bathroom. and I closed the door in to have my bath, it wasn’t up to 3minutes when I heard someone knocking th door of the bathroom.
I rolled on my towel and peeped.
Lo and behold it was sister faith again.

Faith : the primate said I should give you this soap to bath.

Geez it was another black soap. Why is their own soap always black gan sef.

Me : thank you ( I colllected it and closed it the door)

Finished up in the bathroom, and went back to my room, guess what?, I still met sister faith in my room watching movie on my system.

I was just with a towel rolled round my waist. She paused and film and she was staring right into my eye balls.

Faith : I guess I should excuse you , so you can dress.

Me : yeah

(She stood up and left)

Thank God she had manners a little.

When sister faith left, I dressed casually, looking nice and cute, I am among those type of guys can check the mirror after dressing, am very conscious of my appearance.

I went to the primate office to give her a morning greeting.

Me : good morning ma

Primate : morning boy, hope you were able to get enough sleep.

Me : infact ma I woke up an hour ago.

Primate : lol you have to get use to that mister.

Me : I would adapt ma, am a survivor.

Primate : you should break your fast by six in the evening after the church revival.

Me : ok ma, I would survive.

Primate : alryt this are the prayer points you should pray about, along your fasting.

She handed me a note, I was like, isn’t it my problem, shouldn’t I be the one to know the kind of prayer to pray, now they are even dictating prayer to me nisha.

Me : okay thanks ma.

Went back to my room, starting pinging, since there wasn’t much to do.

I gisted bosun about houw the whole place has been since yesterday, krissh wasn’t online, but I dropped him an insult, challenged him, for putting up an I don’t care attitude, not even a call.

I later switched to watching empress k, on my laptop when there was nothing to do. I was on season two episode five.
I love action ancient korea dramas mehn.


Around 3pm. I heard the church bell ringing, I guess it was time for there revival. But I chose not to attend it early enough, I kept watching my film.
Ko ko ko, someone knocked on my door.

Geez who is the intruder now ?

Opened the door , lo and behold , its sister faith.

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Faith : are you not coming for the revival ?

Me : I would be the there later, just wanna take my time here.

She looked around. And returned her gaze to me.

Faith : can I come in ?

In my mind I was like,
Come in ke, I thought she said we should head to the church auditorium and join them.

Me : yeah you are free.

She came me sat on my bed as usual.

Faith : so what were you doing all day ?

Me : just there , watching this korean drama jae.

Faith : I love korean films too, especially the romantic ones.

In my mind, I was like isssh, it’s written all over your face.

Me : it’s normal for girls to love the romantic ones, I prefer the action ones.

I noticed she was starting to feel relaxed on my bed, I decided to control my self.

Me : sister faith , let’s go and join the service already.

Faith : hummm, are you sure ?

Egbami , what such of question is that , girls sha. Tempting a monster, she didn’t know I was just trying to code.

Me : yeah I guess, there’s nothing am doing again anyways.
Would watch the movie later.

Faith : okay if you say so.

She stood up and we joined the service.
She went to her post as the ushered, she changed to her white robe, hmmmn those white robe, this white garment church girls do put on, that do display their natural endowment.

The praise and worship session was on when I entered. I was still examining the different sets of girls I was sighting, when I noticed the lead voice of the choir was familiar, could it be shade again, I looked straight to the altar from where I sat and yes it was her. But this time she was staring at me also. So our eyes practically clashed.

Damn it, I was trying to avoid this girl oh, now that she had seen me, I guess she would approach me later, girls hen very predictable

All through the service my mind was elsewhere, because am not used to such. Besides their prayer points were too carnal for my liking.

Later the grace was shared, revival ended, decided to excuse myself to my room quickly in order not to come in contact with shade.
On my way out I met Sister faith the usher at the door exit.

Faith : brother ife, are you leaving already?

Me : Yeah, I have no business here anymore.

Faith : haba you can’t even wait for me,  so we could head back together.

Geez this girl no dey shy o, when did waiting for her became my responsibility? , I obliged sha, so has not too embarass her in front of the on lookers, I helped myself with a sit at the back, she continued with her business, I felt a smile of satisfaction across her face.

Was chatting on my phone when I felt an feminine shadow above me.

Voice : ifeoluwakitan

I looked up, lo and behold it was shade.

Me : good evening

Shade : hmmmmn wonders shall never cease

Me : na u sabi

Shade : wetin you con do here?

Me : What’s your own there hun?

Shade : hmmmmn don’t be shy, I guess you traced me here to apologize right?

Me :  [chukles]  wait are you kidding me?

Sho whats she thinking hun, I don’t rate girls to that extent.
She sat close to me, U know that kind of intimate sitting now. I looked back to check if Sister faith was looking, and yeah her attention was on us, shade also followed my gaze and saw were it led.


Shade : henen so it’s primate’s daughter kitty catty you followed here

Mehn hot feelings. Decided to give her a finishing statement make she clear for my side

Me : na u sabi, I wondered how runs girl became a chorister over night, if no b say God gentle, he for don rain fire on top dia head.

Her eyes turned red

Shade : God punish you,  I gave you my heart, and you played a fool with it, you lied and you cheated, yet I still hold you dearly, yet you think am a cheap girl or what, mtchew

She walks away,  an I decided to meet sister faith by the exit, she was watching the whole while, but i knew she couldn’t hear what transpired between I and Shade because of the distance.

Faith and i walked back to my room.
She sat on my bed and she was giving a curious look.

Faith : so what was all that about?

Me : [suprised]  pardon?

Faith : [reconstructed her question]  I mean where do you know Sister Shade and what were you discussing?

I felt the need to cut her expectations short faa, who is she to ask me such.

Me : she’s a friend, and when has my discussion with become your concern.

Shade : [comported herself]  oh I’m sorry.

Me : where can I get something to eat jae, make hunger no finish person here.

Faith : what would you like to break with?

Me : please one solid eba would do

Faith : What!  You wanna commit suicide

Me : why that?

Faith : brother seems you are really new at fasting, you don’t break with such an heavy meal, letme help you get some oranges to break with, while I prepare what you would eat later.

Me : prepare what I would eat ke?  I mean you should help me purchase meal not prepare.

Faith. : it would be waste of money, you know, besides I would like you to have a taste OK my cooking

Me : hmmm if you say so

She left and the primate later came by, we prayed together, and faith brought the oranges as promised, later she brought me, fried rice and plantain, her cooking wasn’t bad.

I later slept around 8pm sha.

Day 1 ended.

To Be Continued…


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