Esther’s Diary (+18) EPISODE 6




So for nearly half an hour we both kept rehearsing various voice levels and types as she illustrated how best to combine and train one’s voice to a particular style! Kennedy was awake and in his pram, so our loud voices weren’texactly hurting anything. In fact, little Kennedy equally giggled any time he found us laughing on top of our own voices, thus adding to the whole fun! It was all turning into one big surge of happiness and the fun didn’t stop with the voice thingy really. For even after getting tired of the obviously unnecessary rehearsals, we switched to other topics of discussion. We talked about Fredrick and what we missed about him most.

And then talked about Esther’s schooling plans and why it was very important for her to pass the entrance exam that was up-coming. We also talked about my own plans to go back to my business which had suffered so much since the birth of Kennedy. But in all of these, I observed how we cleverly avoided mentioning movies or worse still, the bathroom incident from the previous night! We both totally talked on as though it never happened! And how relaxed did that initially make me feel!


However, the earliest indication of a return to type did prop its head when my baby began crying unexpectedly, mid-way into our chitchat. It was easily obvious what the problem was – hunger. After all, since we both woke up, he was yet to have Bosom milk and I was equally suffering from the discomforting weight of very full jugs! They had become so full now that they hurt and both didn’t fail to endlessly leak Bosom milk onto my blouse!

But as soon as I mentioned that I wanted to breastfeed the baby to Esther, her countenance unexpectedly changed kind of! Not only did she make this weird but equally funny face, she also basically went soft! She picked up Kennedy from the pram though, and began bringing him to me while I unbuttoned my blouse to free my milk-swollen right Bosom! My blouse and body was a mess, and I could imagine I smelt like a lactating cow most likely. When Esther handed me Kennedy, she began walking away from the living room!

“Are you leaving me alone here?” I immediately asked her, a bit surprised she was walking away. “Or are you going to come back?”

She paused and turned, but noticeably avoided looking at me in the face. “Ehm…I just want to give you room to breastfeed the baby, ma.”
“Room?” I then asked again teasingly, watching her eyes move to my exposed right Bosom, “I don’t need any room young woman.”
She grinned, and began walking back to the sofa where she had been sitting. She gave my Bosom one more glance, then looked away. While I saw that, I pretended like I didn’t though.
I was kinda assuming she was likely being fascinated by the idea of being a mother, although I wasn’t sure how she hopes to do that if she kept on preferring women over men. I wasn’t trying to judge her based on the ‘ugly’ experience from the previous night, but the truth remains that she would need a Joystick to have her baby. In 1999 at least. Wasn’t sure if that could change in 10 to 15 years time though.

Anyways, this supposed fascination kept leading Esther to throw continuous glances at my Bosom as Kennedy continued suckling on my Tips!

Being very sensitive around my areolas has always meant that breastfeeding for me would never happen without a tinge of arousal to it. Kennedy being a heavy ‘milker’ too, always meant that there is hardly any difference between how he sucks on my Tips and how his father does! Of course no mother admits getting turned on by how her suckling baby sucks her Tips, but I’ve always ended up literally moist between the legs, on most occasions! The good thing being that no one except yourself usually knows this, since the only actual evidence, is in your Kittycat! But if your husband were to initiate s*x just after such an activity, he was likely going to be pleased at how much lubrication was on offer! Crazy thoughts! But they never stop coming on such a moment. Something Esther was likely going to experience too when she becomes a mother. Meanwhile, we had begun another string of conversations after she picked a seat, although I did see how significantly uneasy she was feeling this time around. She barely spoke freely, and it kept looking like she was particularly very keen for me not to catch her staring at my Unclad Bosom; despite repeatedly stealing glances at it! However, I was pretty moved when she shot me a question, after what looked like a long pause!

“How do…you breastfeed, ma?” was the rather weird question from her! When I looked up at her, she was staring at my face, and our eyes met for the very first time in a while!
I dropped back my eyes on Kennedy, before speaking. “The baby makes it possible.”
She didn’t say anything just after.
“When you have a lot of milk, your Tips begin to leak,” I chose to continue, after feeling like I didn’t answer her enough, “But with the baby suckling, and with the little pressure you apply on the areola, the milk jets into his mouth.” There was a rather dry smile on my lips by now. It was quite strange how our conversation – which had bubbled a lot earlier- had gone obviously cold within the last few minutes.
Weirdly enough, she still didn’t speak again just after. I threw her a glance, and found her now blankly gazing rather helplessly, at my inflated Bosom! The look in her eyes was quite very interesting.


I turned away though, wondering why she was so fascinated with breastfeeding. Or was it even breasts? Well, I couldn’t just tell at that point. Moreover, Kennedy began showing signs of dozing off; something I was hoping he wouldn’t do just yet until I had switched him to my left Bosom which still had an awful amount of milk in it, that it literally ached! But then, that’s part of the travails of motherhood. There was always going to be another breastfeeding, so I would have to bear until then. However, I had just risen and carried Kennedy to a sofa to lay, and was beginning to return my right Bosom back into my blouse when Esther spoke again! And my, she shocked me this time!
“Can…yooou, ma?” she first asked from nowhere! “Can you…shooow me?” she then explained!
I didn’t seem to understand the request. “Show you?” I then asked, looking at her and meeting her eyes.
“Can youuu show me how to breastfeeeeed?” she repeated, with a drag. Her eye balls literally shook!

My mouth opened to speak, but no words were there to be spoken! I didn’t exactly know why, but I did instantly feel funny that moment! I slowly walked back to my seat and sat, still without talking. She still had her eyes on me, and watched me as I got caught between completely returning my Unclad Bosom back into my dress, and pulling it out again fully.

However, the later prevailed, all the same. And with almost shaky hands I re-unbuttoned my blouse, and hauled the Bosom out. I didn’t want to think we were going back to a route I thought we had left, but it was looking very much like it again! After all, the feeling was surely back again! That same feeling from yesterday. That feeling that made the unfolding scenes before me seem so powerless to resist! I knew I wasn’t expected to respond to this very request she has made, but yet I simply couldn’t muster enough to stop myself from proceeding. Even speaking looked like a tedious labour! Opening my mouth, came with no words! Even when I turned to presumably tell her that I was ready to illustrate what she had asked for, I still painfully struggled to speak up!

But she understood! Esther understood what was happening, and began shifting towards me! The next time my eyes met hers, we both looked away that same instant! We knew this was it again, didn’t we?! We certainly both knew we hadn’t completely conquered this lust! We both knew it was only a matter of finding ourselves in this kind of situation, and we would inevitably fail again! Alas here we were once more, and obviously about to be consumed by it! When she sat just right next to me, she spoke up suddenly. Knocking me off my melancholy!
“Where do you…hold it?” she enquired, lifting her hands already.
I swallowed hard! Then with a very fidgety hand, picked her arm up, and began directing it to my Bosom! I quite couldn’t explain what on earth was happening, but yet, I wasn’t even mustering any form of effort to stop it!
As soon as her fingers felt up the apparent cold skin of my right jug, I jerked inadvertently! I wasn’t sure how I was going to do this!

To Be Continued…


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