the church secretary Weapon

if you missed episode 5 click HERE




(After few months)
The project has commenced and Dcns Emeka
and I did not have the opportunity to see
frequently. But anytime she comes to my office,
she doesn’t leave without us kissing each other.
With Iyoaye, I decided to give her some space
so that the feelings she has for me will die
Then on one fateful day the Head Pastor
summoned me to his office and after I sat
Head Pastor: Accountant, I have observed that
you have not introduced any lady to us that
you want to marry. Are you GAY or are you
castrated? or do you have a baby mama?
Me: no sir. It is just that. Gbogbo awon sister
ninu church wa yii n’on sako (every sister in
this church are forming big girls)
Head Pastor: what about Sis. Iyoaye?
Me: (lol) no……
Head Pastor: That’s by the way. We are having
a new Associate Pastor. His name is Pastor
Onihaxy and he is resuming tomorrow. He will
be using the office beside the bookshop.
Me: it is okay sir.
Head Pastor: have you prepared the
documentation for the release of the second
stage of payment for Dcns Emeka
Me: yes sir. I will bring it to your office asap.
The following day came and as I came to the
office, I saw pastor Onihaxy and Sis Iyoaye
talking with each other and Sis Iyoaye was
laughing. After the devotion, the Head Pastor
introduced him to us and we in turns
introduced each other.


I observed when Pst. Onihaxy resumed that he
will spend time with Iyoaye in the bookshop and
sometimes they leave the office together. Then
one day I called Iyoaye over the intercom
Me: Hello. Please see me in my office
Sis. Iyoaye: why do you want to see me Mr.?
As I was trying to explain the reasons why she
should come, she ended the call. Two hours
later she came and stood by the door:
Sis. Iyoaye: Mr. Accountant, why do you want
to see me?
Me: Come in and sit down pleaseeee (I winked
at her)
Sis. Iyoaye: Mr. I don’t have time to waste. Say
whatever you want to say.
I was angry but kept my cool
Me: well get ready for Stock Audit tomorrow.
She left angrily from my office
The following day, I resumed early in the
bookshop. When I was there, I also observed
that Pst. Onihaxy too was with us. Though, it
was he and Sis. Iyoaye were together. When we
got to the foreign books section, I observed that
Pst. Onihaxy was stylishly smooching her
Weapon of Mass Destruction. I called her for
some observation
Me: Sis. Iyoaye, in your records you registered
20 books but physically it is 34 books. Can you
explain please?
Sis. Iyoaye: (started fidgeting) erm……
Accountant I can explain…..erm…..erm….
I kept quiet and noted it in my draft report.
After the stock taking, I left for my office. I
worked all through the day. But around 7pm
that night – in the office……
When I was about going home, I saw the light
of the bookshop on. What could be happening?
I thought. I tiptoed to the bookshop, there I
met Iyoaye sitting on the chair and placed her
head to the table. I entered into the bookshop
and quietly sneaked to where she sat. It was
when I coughed she raised her head, her eyes
were red and swollen.
Iyoaye: Accountant, you are still around?
Me: yes. Can I seat with you?
Iyoaye: please do. Accountant I want to explain
what happened.
Me: go on
Iyoaye: I bought some extra copies of the book
personally so that I will use it to augment my
allowance. But I am sorry that I did not inform
Me: OK but how is Pst. Onihaxy your husband?
Iyoaye: (hisses hard) Accountant, ejoo e ja mi
kuro loro yen (please don’t bring his issue up)
Me: (hugged her) what happened dear? (yinmu
for my mind)
Iyoaye: (tears forming in her eyes) Can you
believe that Pst. Onihaxy’s fiancée came to the
bookshop today and insulted me that I want to
snatch her husband and was calling me all sort
of names? (she burst into tears)
I held her hands and allowed her to release the
built – up emotions in her. Later I consoled her
that she should try to forget what has
happened between the both of them.
Me: Iyoaye, about the issue on ground, I have
decided to strike it out from my report (As soon
as she heard that she was happy) but I want to
ask you something, Why are you just avoiding
me for the past three months? I mean when
Pst. Onihaxy resumed?
Iyoaye: I thought I offended you. You decided
to stop calling and sending your usual sweet
SMS. And Pst. Onihaxy has been the one who
have kept me lively all this while.
Me: so both of you have started sexting?
Iyoaye: N O no.
Me: but I saw him smooching your…….
Iyoaye kept me quiet by kissing me. We kissed
for a while but I had to stop because we were in
the church.
Me: can we go to my place?
Iyoaye: sure
We closed the bookshop and I locked my office.
Within minutes we were at my place. I told her
that I want to shower. I undressed and went
into the bathroom to shower. When I was
through she went to the bathroom too. While
she was there, a call came in from Pst. Onihaxy
to her phone. I took her phone to her and as
soon as she knew it was Pst. Onihaxy she told
me to end the call. After she finished in the
bathroom, she went to the kitchen to prepare
dinner. A text came into her phone and when is
stylishly checked it was from Pst. Onihaxy. I
pretended that I saw nothing. After we were
through with dinner, a call came into my
phone. When I saw the screen, it was Aisha!
Me: hello banker. How are you doing?
Aisha: Collins. Saanu kwana uku (it has been a
long time). You have forgotten me abi?
Me: Aisha I didn’t forget you. Remember we
have e-statement activated and most of our
transactions are being done at your branch
closer to the church.
Aisha: ok o Short Man Devil. I will be coming to
your office tomorrow morning.
Me: Ba damuwa (no problem)
Aisha: kina ji Hausa? (Can you speak Hausa?)
Me: Hausa keremi keremi (I can speak little)
Aisha: (laughs) Sai gobe (we’ll see tomorrow)
Me: Tau (OK). Yoo wa, yoo ri ti o po
Aisha: Collins, you will never change
Me: Amen (call ends)
I turned to see Iyoaye fuming with rage
Iyoaye: WHO IS THAT?
Me: that is our Account Officer Aisha
Iyoaye: (calmed down) ok. I thought it is one of
these girls that always come to your office.
Me: what do you take me for? (getting angry)
Iyoaye: (coming closer to me to calm me down)
I am sorry for making you angry. I thought I
was just a cheap “PLEASURE WORKER” to you
that was why I asked.
She moved closer to me and placed her
Weapon of Mass Defence to my mouth, I
grabbed it and sucked it like I have been
starved of food for 14days. After a while, I
undressed her and


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