If you missed episode 2 click HERE
When I got to office the following day, the Head
Pastor summoned me
Head Pastor: Accountant, when I was praying
this morning, I saw that you and your wife were
chasing each other with cutlasses. But what I
saw again was that your wife was two to three
times her present size and you were thinner. I
enquired of the Lord and he said that you
should be alone, I mean to be in a retreat for
some days, because your fence has a hole
somewhere. But by the way, where is your wife
Me: she travelled to see her mum at Ajaokuta.
Head Pastor: is she from there
Me: no sir. She is from Bacita. But her mum is a
top brass in Ajaokuta
Head Pastor: but she never told me anything
Me: yes. She kept her family away from her
Head Pastor: all the same, e sa rora. By the way,
I wanted to see you on Saturday but Ritababe
told me you quickly went out.
Me: yes Pastor. I went to catch up with my Dry
Cleaner before he travelled.
Head Pastor: ok take care. Hope you are not
missing her already?
Me: no daddy. I’m not missing her sir
Head Pastor: Ok. I will be travelling to Abuja for
a conference tonight. Please prepare my
Me: I will get back to you right away.
After leaving the Head Pastor office, I went
immediately to prepare his transport allowance.
Not too long, he left the office. But as soon as
he left the office the Assistant Pastor came into
Pst. Mattkelly: Baba Olowo, I am going out
Me: Pst. the Pst. e fe sare lo se ministry nita abi?
(do you want to go and do outside runs?)
Pst. Mattkelly: (hissed) Accountant you are
offending me. I am going to bank to make some
Me: ok, withdraw some for me o
Pst. Mattkelly: na you know (he left)
When I got home I received a call
Me: Hello who am I speaking with please?
Caller: is that the Accountant for ZOCA Church?
Me: yes I am the one. Who am I speaking with
Caller: This is Jane your new account officer.
Me: That‘s nice. How are you Jane?
Jane: I am fine sir. Please are you in the office?
Me: I am not there presently but I will be in an
Jane: I will call you by then. (ends call)
When I was through with what I was doing, I
returned back to the office. Some minutes later
Jane came to the office. After exchanging
pleasantries, I ushered her down to the chair.
Jane: I just resumed to the branch where all
your accounts are domiciled and I was assigned
to manage them sir. Surprisingly I don’t see
you in our bank
Me: I usually do my transactions at your branch
closer to us and I get all my reports and
Jane: ok. Is there anything you want us to do
Me: well, I dunno yet. But if there is anything I
need, I will contact you
Jane: it is nice meeting you sir.
Me: same here.
She stood up about to leave. When we shook
hands, she did that “thing” that people do
(when they are interested in someone) then she
left. As soon as she left, Ritababe entered
Ritababe: Accountant how una dey?
Me: I dey cooleeee
Ritababe: I am hungry.
Me: wetin you go chop?
Instead of answering me, she went to the door
and locked it. Then she came to where I sat and
took her hands to my trousers. She undid the
fly and brought OPA-MOSE out. She was
stroking it and I was trying very hard not to
moan because the feeling was enormous.
Me: hmmm Ritababe, please can we go to your
She did not answer. She looked at me slyly and
smiled. She was jerking it up and down and I
was responding to her strokes. When I felt I was
about to erupt, she stopped, returned my OPA-
MOSE back and left my office. I was shocked
because no lady had done such to me. I called
her to find out why she did that but she was
not picking the calls. I decided to calm down
and concentrate on my job for the day. In the
evening I closed for the day and home. I
sneaked out of the church building and left for
When I got home my neighbour introduced her
younger sisters to me. They looked alike but the
difference is that my neighbour is very tall
masculine like and fair while one of her younger
sister is short and dark, and the other one is
fair; as in oyinbo pepper. We greeted each
other and one of them was Ramat while the
other is Halima. My neighbour was making jest
of me that my wife left me alone…. I was not
thinking towards her direction, I was thinking
how I will Bleep either Ramat or Halima. I was in
that reverie when a call came to my phone from
Pst. Mattkelly: Accountant when did you leave
Me: I left about 10 minutes ago but Pasito……
walahi you dey enjoy o
Pst. Mattkelly: how am I enjoying?
Me: I saw you and your friends in the office
Pst. Mattkelly: don’t mind them. They were my
colleagues back in school and they came to
town for a business meeting. Please I want to
ask, there is someone called Dcns. Emeka in
this Church. Please do you know her?
Me: yes. I know her. She was a former member
of the church. Hope no problem Pst.?
Pst. Mattkelly: No probs bro. just wanna know.
Ok we`ll talk later
Me: ok Pst. (ends call)
I realized that Halima has been waiting to see
Halima: Uncle, please do you have a blackberry
I gave her the charger. But I discovered that
she was not putting on bra. I was seeing the
Weapons of Mass Defence glaringly in her tight
fitted shirt. As soon as I gave her the charger,
as usual light went off.
Halima: Why is NEPA doing this
Me: (hissed) it is like someone in this area
snatched the girlfriend of one of the managers
We both laughed. Then I offered her my Power
Bank to charge her phone.
After a while she came into my apartment to
return the powerbank. Then I was reading the
story where Dioxidane was bleeping Sunmaiya.
Halima: thank you sir for allowing me to use
Me: please don’t use sir for me. My name is
Halima: ok o Collins. But what are you watching
on your phone?
Me: I am on Nairaland forum reading a story
about one corper is bleeping both the LA
Inspector and her cousin.
Halima: from your looks, I guess you are a bad
boy (rolls her eyes seductively)
But as we were talking, I observed that she was
leaning at the back of the chair. Her Weapon of
Mass Defence was hitting me at the back of the
head. Then I switched to the story `Adebimpe
the Facebook girl Pt. 3` and I was reading
where Bimpe was threatening Onihaxy that she
will expose him as the one that raped her. Then
she asked me a question
Halima: are you truly married?
Me: yes I am.
Halima: wow. You don’t look like someone who
has married. When I saw you in the morning,
my sister was the one telling me that you are
married but I didn’t believe her.
As soon as she said so she turned heading
towards the door. I saw her Weapon of Mass
Destruction and I discovered that she wasn’t
putting on panties. I stood up pretending to go
into the room when I grabbed her from the
back (especially her WMD) and squeezed it
lightly. She moaned, waited and kept quiet.
She switched off her phone and turned to face
me. We started kissing each other and was
smooching each other seriously. I folded her
skirt upwards and saw a very neat Holiest…….
The colour of her skin was the one at the holiest
entrance. I wanted to start sucking her but I
restrained myself. I put a finger in her Holiest
and started finger – bleeping her. She was
responding by grinding and whining her waist
to it. After a while, we stopped and she started
sucking my OPA – MOSE and she was sucking
it. She was a pro in sucking and as soon I felt I
wanted to erupt, the door was opened and her
sister entered the apartment. As soon as her
sister screamed, I woke up; but my OPA – MOSE
was rock hard and had stood in attention. She
looked at me mischievously and whispered to
my ears ì am coming back by 11pm tonight`