MUST READ:THE CHURCH SECRETARY(+18) SEASON 4-Episode 14

novice

If you missed episode 13 click HERE

EPISODE 14

 

 

COLLINS

Me: Mrs. Adedokun good afternoon ma.

Mrs. Adedokun: how are you accountant?

Me: I am fine ma. Hope no problem ma?

Mrs. Adedokun: no problem. I came to do something in the church.

Me: ok ma. I want you to meet my Neighbour at home

Mrs. Adedokun greeted her with nose.

Mrs. Adedokun: Accountant, I will check on you later.

Me: ok ma. (she leaves)

When Mrs. Adedokun left, my neighbour’s wife stood up

Neighbour’s wife: mot i fe ma lo (I am about leaving).

Me: ok ma. E seun pupo fun ibewo yin (Thank you for coming).

Neighbour’s wife: (lowers voice) mo fe ki’lo fun yin. Eeyan kii ba mi du “OGEDE” mi (I want to warn you; don’t share my sweet banana with anyone).

Me: ayafi………… (except……………)

Neighbour’s wife: ayafi tani? (except what?)

Me: kosi wahala. Mo ti gbo yin. (no problem. I have heard you).

When she left, Mrs. Adedokun came in

Mrs. Adedokun: I have been at your door for over fifteen minutes ago and I practically heard what you guys discussed.

Me: Jesus Christ living in ABA!!!

Mrs. Adedokun: so you either………

Me: I would rather play away match than play home match

Mrs. Adedokun: what are you insinuating?

Me: Mike has told me a lot about you (I lied) so you can’t intimidate me.

Mrs. Adedokun: are you sure

Me: yes ke

 

Mrs. Adedokun: (calms down) I want to make you happy, while you make me happy and……….

Me: (cuts in) do you think i am a novice on this job? That day I resumed here, I knew you and Mike fvckked each other and I didn’t complain. So I can’t just imagine myself fvcking you too.

Mrs. Adedokun: but can we still be friends? At least for a start

Me: yes.

Mrs. Adedokun: can we shake hands?

Me: sure.

As we wanted to shake hands, a call came into my phone. I picked it

Me: hello

Mike: Professor Emeritus in Suckinology

Me: how far? How is your place?

Mike: mo wa pa. eyin naa nko?

Me: please let me call you later.

Mike: ok. (call ends)

I shook her hands and she left. I worked for a while before leaving for my house. When I got home, I saw that Neighbour 2 was frowning her face. I greeted her and I was about entering my apartment, she called me back.

Neighbour 2: I had been observing you all this while but you never relate with us

Me: it is not that. I …………

Neighbour 2: you only relate with Mummy Adijat. Is she the only one in the house?

Me: hmmm……………

She stood up abruptly and was about going inside. I held her by her arm

Me: I am sorry that I haven’t been relating with anybody apart from Mummy Adijat in this compound. I have been a married man with 2 kids and anytime I see her kids, I always remember mine.

Neighbour 2: (calms down) it is ok. I have heard you. (extends her hand) I am Cynthia or Ogechi

Me: I am Collins

Ogechi: ? nwere ike ?s? igbo? (do you speak Igbo?)

Me: mi o gbo Ibo rara (I don’t hear at all)

Ogechi: but why bearing Collins?

Me: that’s my name

s*x between mummy Adijat and I was on almost on constant basis. But it is always quickie……… anytime we meet in the kitchen or she sneak to my room and we do am sharp – sharp.

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One day after the service when we were compiling the figures for offering, Mrs. Adedokun raised an alarm

Mrs. Adedokun: I didn’t see the tithe I dropped

All: how did you know?

Mrs. Adedokun: I marked the envelope I used in dropping it

Me: you know I never counted the money with you people.

Mr. Johnson: Accountant, we had been suspecting you all this while. I heard you live an extravagant lifestyle outside and you pretend in the church

Me: emi ke How on earth will I take offering when I didn’t count it and I never carried the offering bucket?

Mr. Johnson: you are lying Accountant.

Me: e ni ri ogun akoba o. I never knew about the money?

After the counting, we all went to the Senior Pastor’s office. When we got there

Mr. Johnson: Mrs. Adedokun complained that her tithe was missing in the offering bucket; and we are suspecting the Accountant…………

Me: (cuts in) Pastor, I want everyone to remain here while you mandate the Security to search my office. (facing Mrs. Adedokun) what is the colour of the envelope you used

Mrs. Adedokun: customized envelope of Heritage Bank.

 

We all waited while the Security Unit men did a thorough search of my office. When they were through, they came out of the office sweating like Christmas chicken.

Security Men: we didn’t see any money apart from his purse.(shows the Senior Pastor.

SP: (facing me) did you take the money Accountant?

Me: kini mo fe fi owo won se? if I need money, I will do some consultancy jobs that will fetch me hundreds of thousands of Naira.
So for her to attack me with that accusation is…………

SP: it is ok Accountant. (facing Mrs. Adedokun) are you sure that you dropped the money?

Mrs. Adedokun: Pastor, are you telling me that I am lying?

As we were talking, someone came from the church auditorium

Stranger: ma, hope it isn’t yours (showing the envelope and the scarf of the cloth she wore)

Mrs. Adedokun: sir, where did you see it?

Stranger: I saw it on a chair in the church.

I looked at the Senior Pastor, Mrs. Adedokun and other people there and left the office. When I got to my office, other people came to my office to beg me. Afterwards, the SP called me to his office

SP: Accountant, please don’t be annoyed with what happened today in the counting room.

Me: ok sir.

SP: but, what is happening between you and Mrs. Adedokun?

Me: nothing sir.

SP: but the way and manner she attacked you seems like there is something going on between you two.

Me: nothing sir. I am even surprised that she could attack me just like that.

SP: try and see her to resolve your differences.

Me: ok sir.

When I returned to the office, I called Mike

To Be Continued…

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