If you missed episode 13 click HERE
Me: Mrs. Adedokun good afternoon ma.
Mrs. Adedokun: how are you accountant?
Me: I am fine ma. Hope no problem ma?
Mrs. Adedokun: no problem. I came to do something in the church.
Me: ok ma. I want you to meet my Neighbour at home
Mrs. Adedokun greeted her with nose.
Mrs. Adedokun: Accountant, I will check on you later.
Me: ok ma. (she leaves)
When Mrs. Adedokun left, my neighbour’s wife stood up
Neighbour’s wife: mot i fe ma lo (I am about leaving).
Me: ok ma. E seun pupo fun ibewo yin (Thank you for coming).
Neighbour’s wife: (lowers voice) mo fe ki’lo fun yin. Eeyan kii ba mi du “OGEDE” mi (I want to warn you; don’t share my sweet banana with anyone).
Me: ayafi………… (except……………)
Neighbour’s wife: ayafi tani? (except what?)
Me: kosi wahala. Mo ti gbo yin. (no problem. I have heard you).
When she left, Mrs. Adedokun came in
Mrs. Adedokun: I have been at your door for over fifteen minutes ago and I practically heard what you guys discussed.
Me: Jesus Christ living in ABA!!!
Mrs. Adedokun: so you either………
Me: I would rather play away match than play home match
Mrs. Adedokun: what are you insinuating?
Me: Mike has told me a lot about you (I lied) so you can’t intimidate me.
Mrs. Adedokun: are you sure
Me: yes ke
Mrs. Adedokun: (calms down) I want to make you happy, while you make me happy and……….
Me: (cuts in) do you think i am a novice on this job? That day I resumed here, I knew you and Mike fvckked each other and I didn’t complain. So I can’t just imagine myself fvcking you too.
Mrs. Adedokun: but can we still be friends? At least for a start
Mrs. Adedokun: can we shake hands?
As we wanted to shake hands, a call came into my phone. I picked it
Mike: Professor Emeritus in Suckinology
Me: how far? How is your place?
Mike: mo wa pa. eyin naa nko?
Me: please let me call you later.
Mike: ok. (call ends)
I shook her hands and she left. I worked for a while before leaving for my house. When I got home, I saw that Neighbour 2 was frowning her face. I greeted her and I was about entering my apartment, she called me back.
Neighbour 2: I had been observing you all this while but you never relate with us
Me: it is not that. I …………
Neighbour 2: you only relate with Mummy Adijat. Is she the only one in the house?
She stood up abruptly and was about going inside. I held her by her arm
Me: I am sorry that I haven’t been relating with anybody apart from Mummy Adijat in this compound. I have been a married man with 2 kids and anytime I see her kids, I always remember mine.
Neighbour 2: (calms down) it is ok. I have heard you. (extends her hand) I am Cynthia or Ogechi
Me: I am Collins
Ogechi: ? nwere ike ?s? igbo? (do you speak Igbo?)
Me: mi o gbo Ibo rara (I don’t hear at all)
Ogechi: but why bearing Collins?
Me: that’s my name
s*x between mummy Adijat and I was on almost on constant basis. But it is always quickie……… anytime we meet in the kitchen or she sneak to my room and we do am sharp – sharp.
One day after the service when we were compiling the figures for offering, Mrs. Adedokun raised an alarm
Mrs. Adedokun: I didn’t see the tithe I dropped
All: how did you know?
Mrs. Adedokun: I marked the envelope I used in dropping it
Me: you know I never counted the money with you people.
Mr. Johnson: Accountant, we had been suspecting you all this while. I heard you live an extravagant lifestyle outside and you pretend in the church
Me: emi ke How on earth will I take offering when I didn’t count it and I never carried the offering bucket?
Mr. Johnson: you are lying Accountant.
Me: e ni ri ogun akoba o. I never knew about the money?
After the counting, we all went to the Senior Pastor’s office. When we got there
Mr. Johnson: Mrs. Adedokun complained that her tithe was missing in the offering bucket; and we are suspecting the Accountant…………
Me: (cuts in) Pastor, I want everyone to remain here while you mandate the Security to search my office. (facing Mrs. Adedokun) what is the colour of the envelope you used
Mrs. Adedokun: customized envelope of Heritage Bank.
We all waited while the Security Unit men did a thorough search of my office. When they were through, they came out of the office sweating like Christmas chicken.
Security Men: we didn’t see any money apart from his purse.(shows the Senior Pastor.
SP: (facing me) did you take the money Accountant?
Me: kini mo fe fi owo won se? if I need money, I will do some consultancy jobs that will fetch me hundreds of thousands of Naira.
So for her to attack me with that accusation is…………
SP: it is ok Accountant. (facing Mrs. Adedokun) are you sure that you dropped the money?
Mrs. Adedokun: Pastor, are you telling me that I am lying?
As we were talking, someone came from the church auditorium
Stranger: ma, hope it isn’t yours (showing the envelope and the scarf of the cloth she wore)
Mrs. Adedokun: sir, where did you see it?
Stranger: I saw it on a chair in the church.
I looked at the Senior Pastor, Mrs. Adedokun and other people there and left the office. When I got to my office, other people came to my office to beg me. Afterwards, the SP called me to his office
SP: Accountant, please don’t be annoyed with what happened today in the counting room.
Me: ok sir.
SP: but, what is happening between you and Mrs. Adedokun?
Me: nothing sir.
SP: but the way and manner she attacked you seems like there is something going on between you two.
Me: nothing sir. I am even surprised that she could attack me just like that.
SP: try and see her to resolve your differences.
Me: ok sir.
When I returned to the office, I called Mike
To Be Continued…