MUST READ:THE CHURCH SECRETARY(+18) SEASON 4-Episode 17

misses

If you missed episode 16 click HERE

EPISODE 17

 

Kafeeya: bawo ni Mike?

Me: what’s up? It had been a long time

Kafeeya: you never wanted to contact me again; that’s why you just abandoned me abi?

Me: no. it isn’t like that. I deliberately changed my line so that people won’t be able to contact me

Kafeeya: o ga ooo. How are you?

Me: I am fine. And how is Abuja?

Kafeeya: Abuja is fine; although I have been transferred to Minna.

Me: Minna I have been transferred to Minna

Kafeeya: so, what you are telling me is that you are no longer in Ibadan?

Me: yes ma’am.

Kafeeya: I thought I will never see you again but as you can see, we will see each other.

Me: wow. How is Praise?

Kafeeya: she’s fine; although, she misses you a lot. When we got to Abuja she fell sick for three weeks. It was until one day I was scrolling through your pictures on facebook.com, she saw your picture, asked after you and immediately there was improvement.

Me: hmmm. Odikwa serious.

Kafeeya: and since then she had wanted to see you.

Me: thank God; I will be able to see “my daughter”

Kafeeya: je ki Baba e gba e mu (if her father catches you). so how is your wife?

Me: I am not married o

 

Kafeeya: I mean the lady you went to meet in Ilorin?

Me: that was the reason why I changed my number and location.

Kafeeya: hmmm. That’s serious. Eni ti o ni fila o ngbadura and eni ti o sin i fila o nfi fila re sere. (the person that doesn’t have a cap is praying to get one while the one that have a cap is playing with it)

I was so engrossed in the chat till when I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I looked up, it was Perpetua looking at me with tear – filled eyes

Perpetua: come with me into my apartment.

I followed her to her apartment. As soon as I was sitting down a call came from an unknown number. When I picked it, I discovered it was Kafeelat!

Kaffie: don’t say a word. I saw you going inside Perpetua’s residence. What the h3ll are you doing there?

As I wanted to respond, she ended the call.

Perpetua: Bolaji, I am sorry to be unnecessary jealous. Mo ro wipe o n ba Kaffie l’ajosepo ni mo se wuwa si e lat’enkan (I thought you and Kaffie are already having s*x that was why I’ve been reacting since when we were in church)

Me: mi o mo bi awo ibe ti ri mi o de tun mo boya igbo kun ibe tabi o n dan……………… (I don’t know the colour of her pv33y, and I don’t know if the place is bushy or skin – clean)

Perpetua: onisokuso ni e (you are too raw)

Me: emi ke. I am holier than Moses……… but, ti n mba gba idi yin (if I spank your a$$……)

Pereptua: atari ajanaku ni, kii s’eru omode (you’re a small boy)

Without warning, I pulled her to myself and we kissed each other for some minutes. After a while, we broke the kiss when we heard the sound of Perpetua’s phone.

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COLLINS

When I got home, I saw my Neighbour and his wife. I greeted them and entered my apartment. The day went uneventful except when the kids came to my place and I had a hell of time trying to control them. Later in the night around 9.45pm, I received a call from an unknown number

Me: hello

Stranger: it is me your neighbour.

Me: good evening sir.

Neighbour: e jo e wa s’odo wa bayii (please come to our apartment immediately).

I went to their apartment and when I entered, I saw that the husband and the wife were glued together unclad

Neighbour: e jo, a ni’lo iranlowo yin (please bro Collins we need your help)

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As I wanted to raise alarm, he made signs that I should not raise any alarm. He gave me instructions and I called his baba which gave us the antidote to the jazz. We did it and both of them were freed. As soon as they were freed I turned my back to allow my neighbour and his wife to dress up. As soon as they were dressed, my neighbour’s wife pounced in him and raised the alarm

Neighbour’s wife: e gbami lowo okunrin t’o fe pami o. (please help me o, this man want to kill me)

Everybody gathered.

Neighbour’s wife: eni’bi lokunrin yii. Se mo wipe o fi magun le mi lara ni’jo oni; o tun ro ‘pe ma tun ba okunrin mi sun. (this man is evil. Do you know that he had laced me with Magun and now he thought I will be sleeping with another man)

Everybody tried to pacify her but all to no avail. When I stepped out, I went to meet her

Me: e fi daddy sile (Pls leave daddy alone)

 

Neighbour’s wife: (protesting) mi o ni fi won sile. ( I wont leave him alone)

Me: e jo e fi won sile. (Pls just leave him alone ma)

She reluctantly left him but said

Neighbour’s wife: ti o ba ni’fe ara e, ma sun n’u ‘le lale yii (if you love yourself, don’t sleep inside this house tonight)

I took him to my apartment and told him to stay there. Then i went to meet her and took her inside. As soon as we entered, I hugged her

Me: e ba ti ma pariwo bayen (you shouldn’t have shouted like that)

Neighbour’s wife: (burst into tears) uncle, e mo nnkan ti o sele. T’o ba je ‘pe e tete wole ni, bi awon eeyan se ma ri ihoho wa; and bi awon eeyan se ma fi wa s’esin ni yen. (do you know what; if you haven’t come in on time, that’s how people will see us unclad, and that will be a big disgrace)

I petted her and returned to my apartment. When I got there, I confronted the man

Me: kilode ti e fi se bayen? (why did you do like that sir?)

Neighbour: mi o se nkankan fun iyawo mi. nitori nigba ti mo de, a jo kuro ninu yara fun wakati meta. (I didn’t lace my wife with anything. We were together for more than 3 hours)

Me: but, se e fura pe won fi nkankan si yin lara? (but, didn’t you suspect that you were laced?)

Neighbour: ah!!!!!!!!!!!! Mo ranti, mo ranti, mo ranti. Nigba ti mo n bo si Ibadan, mo ya si Apata. (yes!!!!! I remember. I went to Apata immediately I came to Ibadan)

Me: s’e e mo eeyan s’Apata? (do you know anyone in Apata?)

Neighbour: ibeni iyawo keji ngbe (yes the 2nd wife stays there)

Me: ah!!!!! Jesu!!!!! Ejo e ma binu sir; kilen fi iyawo meta nse?

Neighbour: hmm oro po n’u ‘we kobo

We both went into their apartment and we begged his wife. She later agreed that she would allow him to sleep in the house but he won’t sleep with her in the room. the following morning, I saw my neighbour and he greeted me warmly. After seeing him off to the junction, I decided to go to the ATM opposite Ologuneru Police Station to withdraw some money. When I got there, I saw a lady withdrawing from the other machine.

To Be Continued…

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