When it comes to certain relationship issues, from the ones that sound petty to the ones could really turn a relationship upside down, everyone has an awkward time talking about them. But if one’s behavior changes due to issues you didn’t know you both were having, that leaves one wondering: What’s behind the silence?
Some pet peeves find a comfortable spot beneath the rug they’ve been swept under. Others grow to be the elephant in the room that’s behind all of the little arguments you’ve been having or the distance he’s been giving you — even if he never fesses up to the reason. From your hair choices to how much more you make, things that you assume aren’t that deep could be a turnoff for your partner.
If one of these relationship issues might be in the way, you will most likely have to bring them up before they become problems with a capital “P,” because chances are, he won’t.
This survey suggests that the hair down there is a deal breaker for more men than we thought. And those preferences are hard to talk about, especially in the beginning. If you’re flexible about personal grooming, asking him what he likes may be an easier way to bring up the subject.
YOUR LEVEL OF EFFORT
If you’re high maintenance and he likes down to earth (or vice versa), a man rarely comes out and says “You’re not putting in enough effort” or “You’re doing too much.”
Some men can’t handle constructive criticism of any kind. Instead of discussing the issue, some clam up whenever you bring up something that needs to change in your relationship. Too much talk of doing better and they might pretend to hear you, only to eventually bail on you.
Some men find gossipy criticism of others to be a turn-off, even if you are speaking facts.
Whether you’re too adventurous or not adventurous enough, he might not tell you about the hiccups in your sex life. If something feels off, you might have to be the one to ask.
Some men need an independent woman. Others have trouble saying “I need to be needed” when it looks like you have things handled on your own and don’t want their input. And in that case, it might be time to ask yourself this serious question about your relationship.
YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
Sometimes “I’m uncomfortable that you make more money than me” comes out as “You think you’re better than me.” Criticisms of this kind might tip you off to the fact that he’s turned off about not being the breadwinner.
YOUR COMMITMENT GOALS
When you’re serious about the future, it’s good to be clear in the beginning. Men who aren’t ready tend to exhibit these signs instead of having a serious conversation about their fears and what they aren’t prepared for.
HOW HIS MOM FEELS ABOUT YOU
Things changed shortly after you met his mom, but all he says is “I’m sure she likes you…” Some men have trouble navigating romantic relationships and family. If you have a feeling his folks are the issue and they’re pulling him away from you, it might be time to try these techniques for when his family just isn’t that into you.
This one can go either way. Whether you’ve put on a few pounds as you got comfortable in the relationship or you’ve dropped serious weight and look smaller, he may quietly be bothered by your new look.
In an effort to avoid sounding shallow, he may never give you the reason for his new ‘tude.
YOUR ISSUES WITH HIS FRIENDS
When you and the crew really don’t get along, sometimes it feels like the only thing to do is be honest about the friction. And when that’s not cool with him, he’s more likely to become distant than say “I choose my friends.”
So you decided to make a drastic change to your hair and your significant other claims “It’s Ok.” But then he starts making comments about what you’re going to do with it and gives you weird looks during wash day. Suffice it to say, he’s not too pleased with your latest style or look.
Some guys just can’t deal. The tough part? You normally don’t find out that they’re bothered by such things until after you’ve told them. And few men are willing to openly admit what digit they draw the line at — even if they think yours has crossed it.
Most guys will play nice and watch along. Sometimes you have to look closely to see whether he’s enjoying your time together with Real Housewives on or if he’s secretly feeling as though he’s being tortured.